MooPig Opera Epic

This is a Treatment on GAZA that is about 120 Years ahead of its Time... no brag: just Fact !!
To actually publish this and make it into a JazzRock Opera would require people with senses of humor.

A Fantastically Flawed Script for -- GAZA -- JazzRock Opraepic

<i>A Fantastically Flawed Script for --</i> GA<i>Z</i>A -- JazzRock Opraepic
By Pat Darnell, Certain to have you Scratching Your Head in Places you didn't know you had...

2008-09

Sunday, November 1, 2009

Sunday 8:49 AM Poem Break

Wholly Quatrains
by Pat Darnell

Many have asked me to join the human race
"Nay, I'll j'ist k'ip it this'a 'way"
knowin' the winds; knowin' my place --
I already been knackered 'n played...

Many asked what's that smile on my face
"What you talkin' 'bout, I ain't gay"
..they say: then you're straight?
I got no time for what you say ..

Many askin' why you walkin' away ...
turnin' my back on their disgraces
"I cain't answer that, you'all has to wait's"
sure enough, answers, soon to come your ways

Saturday, March 21, 2009

GAZA


PART ONE
A Rock Operaepic ... [using the Yiddish Dictionary Online]
by Pat Darnell

-- Act One -- Scene One
[Jolly Old Hamas Boys singing and lobbing missiles and mortars into Israel during Hanukah from the Gaza Strip]

Lob a missile, no one will notice
Lob another, on Israel's hagode'spice
Hamas says "Aim it at Jew pop'lace
like barrels of loafs'es gefilteh fish ..."

We Hamas bully you at khosedl
and invite you to the prom
Here's another aerial bomb
for your gay dreydl and opshtel

Nothing personal, Ehud Barak,
but your infidel protector ally
is soon run a muck...
...by o'bama Barack
with his house slave slice Hill'ally...

Hama think you unwieldy
Here eat this knuckle shnitke
Another cease fire missile on you Israeli
Quick... quick, take my picture, Al Jazeeree!
[Flashes of blinding bright lights going off all over, with poparattzi figures all around in top hats with cards in them that say PRESS... and CNN, MSNBC, FOX, AJ, G4]
______________________________
-- Scene Two --

[Chris the Swedish Narrator from a country so well known for its military prowess in all the years of world war, Sweden]
Swedish Accented Gay Man's Voice Over Speaking English: "Israel has just lost its right to exist! If you first steal a country, then kill and expel their rightful citizens just to follow them and kill them in their refugee camps outside your stolen country - then - you've passed all humanitarian lines and wherefore lost your own right to even exist. Sorry to say, but Israel must be terminated for the sake of all humans right to international peace."
-- fade off --
[Israeli ground troops take up arms, and sing, and march to a tune of old origins. Helicopters, gunships and tanks are rolling and flying into the night...]
Kibutzim to the left
Kibutzim to the right
this is not a soccer match
its a regular army fight

You sakone lobbed 6000 missiles
in 1000 days -- day and night
you Hamas' flatulence
its December twenty eight
It's time to come to
mamehloosh'n Israel's defense

To Kamran, Maradona, and Xenia
and Taher al-Noono
"I invite you and especially your families
spend some days in the Israel arena
where by a few rockets every day
we are attacked for years, yorn la'nga
you devil lickin' Hamas hyenas

Surely your Fatah's will now rejoice
as we pound your Hamas into matsah toast
while US and Brits sing in one voice
"Your Hamas-run interior ministry
of Gaza Strip, well, they are toyt'z."

Oh yeah... weeoooweeooo
Mousa Abu Morzouz,
deputy leader of Hamas people
What did you tell Al Jazeera?
Something about your lost knipl?

Oh yeah... weeoooweeooo
Kibutzim to the left
Kibutzim to the right
Ehud Barak says tonight,
"Any Hamas target is a target"
"Kick 'em hard in the buttockz..."
"Boot 'em thusly in their tookhes..."
"Sweden boy, know this, you are a putz...."
[End of Scene Two]
_________________________________
I have to stop here; this is exhausting.... pd/ Act Two tomorrow... maybe.

PART TWO


[SEE PART ONE]

PART TWO

A Rock Operaepic ... [using the Yiddish Dictionary Online]

by Pat Darnell

-- Act One -- Scene Three[Newly elected officials of the US Presidential Executive and the cabinet members are seated in a dark room, watching riot and bloodshed on a Sears Brand large screen TV -- -- and human fluids are actually flying out into the viewers... it is the scene at Gaza Strip as Israeli forces attempt to get it over with before their citrus crops need dusting for insect... the scene is video graphed from the helmet camera perched on Israeli Patriots as their units advance on the land and cities of the Hamas]

Opening Chorus:
everything that was old
is now new -- shekh eyo nu
ov·ee'·noo·mal·key'·noo
its what's new,
in broadview
ov·ee'·noo·mal·key'·noo
yeah, oooweeeooooo
ov·ee'·noo·mal·key'·noo
ge∙vald' ge∙shrig'∙n !!
King Barry:
I got an idea that's presidential...
we issue a war field manual
everyone of you get to read
while we get some new arms deals

Chorus:
Yoikes, shehvekh, s'ken nisht shat'∙n
s'ken nisht shat'∙n
how do we pay for that bahandlen
without a bonafide wiretap shmeer
surveillance authorized by sokhrim
Mr Barry, uninvited sokyher?

King Barry:
we'll find out shortly, won't we
you scum sucking blogger sheyvet, sh'vot...
pretty soon I quit saying "I"
and refer to me as "We"
How you say ...ibertsaygn skim the pot?

Chorus:
Will we:
intercept billions of shmusen
teen-aged glib conversations
mostly girls aged fifteen shmoozen
happen to find one sakone'en
who is Pakistani with a pager
living under a bridge in Brooklyn ??
Oy vey, Barry, oy vey'er...

King Barry:
It's easy, so easy to be wrong
but to be wrong on purpose, well...
it makes us narish shmendriks
and I tell you now I don't
like the sound of that, oh no,
I don't like the sound of that.
Refrain:
Just because we're paranoid'es
doesn't mean we don't have enemies's
just because we're humorless'es
we are iberblaybn, what's left'es
e'en after Cain's seyfer-hagilgulem'es
we are, we are the bikher-vinkl'es
Chorus:
but you can't nam us Barry
we know you won't face it
till it is right in front your face
and your gerotene kinder...
what about your bairn, Barry
what about your bairn
and your personal space?

as Hamas's are throwin' cairns
from behind their human shields
and mess with all your plans...
kakn eating, drek farfakt'n ter'·or·ist·ish'ds

Every thing that is old
...is new again, so,
the reason we gev'ald, ge∙vald' ge∙shrig'∙n
it is the reason we g'vald
because we see you shirk
your shvartser mystique
as the ground starts to heat
ov·ee'·noo·mal·key'·noo

everything that was old
is now new --
ov·ee'·noo·mal·key'·noo
its what's new
ov·ee'·noo·mal·key'·noo
yeah, oooweeeooooo
ov·ee'·noo·mal·key'·noo
they'll throw their shoe at you
ge∙vald' ge∙shrig'∙n !!

[End of ACT ONE -- Scene Three]



COMING NEXT: SCENE-CHANGE ARIA

PART THREE

[SEE PART TWO]

PART THREE | ACT ONE -- Scene Change Aria

[Continued] Rock Operaepic: Helicopters, Gunships and Tanks

A Rock Operaepic ... [using the Yiddish Dictionary Online]
by Pat Darnell
[Stage front curtains are drawn so stage hands can work. Tenore d'grattias, Counter Tenore sings in front with single spotlight. He/She is dressed in mid 1970's era Elton John battle fatigues clothing, and FUBU cap. His shtick requires a little soft shoe, and a broad walk back and forth across stage, as if in deep thought]

Gotta Dance: onboard the PLO HAM & Eggs

Brokering in Egypt and France
patriot Condoleezza Rice
Secretary of States of US
wearing pant suits,
a deal for a truce,
seems like pride
Pharoah wants back
his Hebrews,
and France
wants some too

"Jews always bring spruce
and triple crown muse,
to our very dull dance...
in our fraudulent peruse
without undergarments"

"Jews always bring spruce
and triple crown muse,
to our very dull dance...
in our fraudulent
undergarments"

So, let's tap dance...

[Musical Interlude; as tenore does a soft shoe, Gene Kelly shuffle ball change]

Israel resumed Gaza offensives
after a three hour tour truce
for UN altruist forays
very adventurous thrust
for humanity's TV view
Mr Howell and Lovey's too

Mr Howell and Lovey's too

not-prez-yet BArry oBama's stimulus
to make more regular us...
and wealth distribution more just
a package to pay back foreignness
dividends to keep their trust

all paid in full for us by us
all paid in full for us by us
[Sqeaky toy: FUBU FUBU FUBU...]

i cringe at my pay check
as it dwindles and stews
from day one it is reduced
by exponential digits in twos

Institutions sink under
as blizzards follow hail
as war fronts get added
by mis guided splinter cells
tenore di grattias, sing bloodied hell
oh, counter tenore d'grattias
belfry'd and bat'ted
where is your bell?

[Refrain]
"Jews always bring spruce
and triple crown muse,
to our very dull dance...
in south of France
in our flawed undergarments
with fraudulent immigrants..."

[repeat; fade away ending to song -- lights dim, spot fade, open curtains to ACT TWO]

PART FOUR

[See ACT ONE Here; Here; and Here]
PART FOUR

Act TWO --

Full Chorus; full Orchestra
[Continued] Rock Operaepic: Helicopters, Gunships and Tanks A Rock Operaepic ... [using the Yiddish Dictionary Online]
by Pat Darnell

[Curtain opens to town square in Gaza, and exploding sounds are all around. Chorus is assembled on steps of large domed building. Fill lighting makes opening bright]

INTROIT
[SATB Chorus]
Surely your Fatah's will now rejoice
as we pound your Hamas into matsah toast
while US and Brits sing in one voice
we turn your limbs into sirloin choice
"Your Hamas-run interior ministry
of Gaza Strip, well, they will be toyt'z."

As for ingratiating Palestinian'ies
we relocate to Salt Lake theocracy
for all to receive US citizenry
amongst Italian coptic benedictine-ery's
and pooky theo polygamy's
providing good jobs beside cracker-saltines
providing good jobs are cracker-saltines

[Soprano solo]
White bread and bagels, hot dogs in steam
the crack of the bat as winter recedes
providing good jobs, are cracker-saltines

[SATB Chorus]
Oh yeah... weeoooweeooo
Mousa Abu Morzouz, party
deputy of Hamas people
What did you tell Al Jazeeree?
Something about your lost knipl?

[Alto Solo]
Next we send deputy inspector
named Hannibal Steinikeggler Lector
He's with the UN
but a Catholic defector
he carries with him
a fusion detector

[Tenor Solo]
He'll turn his head as
Hamas's are tagged
and put a kosher post-it
on every body bag

[SATB Chorus]
"He'll put a Kosher Post-it on ev-er-yyy bag..."
and we will sing this limerick all dayyyy

[Aside -- baritone Mister Ed's voice-over particulars styled solo]
a fine Hama-mess you got us into
said Ollie to Auhurd-tutu
we will not speak of elephant
on top the speckled desk
or your flatulence; in your largesse;
No do not scorn the Devil
he is our special guest --
Cain does not like Abel,
do not laugh nor jest...
nor manage a little cough;
do not mention cowardice
no,
do not mention
cowardice.

[No Scene change; Chorus disperses stages left and right.]

PART FIVE

PART FIVE "When Scenery Attacks" (Pribek\Direction)

[Continued]

Rock Operaepic: Helicopters, Gunships and Tanks

A Rock Operaepic ... [using the Yiddish Dictionary Online]

Appeal to Israel
[Stage left is a school of children being led by teacher and burkha babe Meydlsh -- Jessica Simpson -- in front, signaling each little up turned face to do his\her best. Because of her ubiquitous garment it is not revealed that the teacher is pregnant, nor that she is wearing Daisy Dukes and Cowgirl Boots underneath.]

[Meydlsh]
Conjugations Children:

[Grammar School Children]
Hamo, Hamas, Hamat -- Hamas

[Meydlsh]
Again children, i'·ber·khaz·er·n
Who is not a friend of Fatah?

[Grammar School Children]
Hamo, Hamas, Hamat -- Hamas

No, no, not Fato, Fatahs, Fatah't...
just Hamo, Hamas, Hamat.
we love dead sea salt,
and honey dipped baclavas

[Children and Meydlsh together]
All day we love to conjugate
for Hamas and our Gaza state
if God himself should aroyskumen
we would surely kon·yoo·geer'·n

[Andrea Bocelli saunters to center stage amid deafening applause from the audience... He is blind Mustafa, who lost his sight in a camel wrestling event. He is noticed by two large figures off in upstage right who are in an animated conversation; they stop a moment then continue gestering, inaudible at this time. Suddenly out of nowhere a UFO hovers over the town square. Only our blind baritone senses it. He gestures, then genuflects, falls to his knees... obviously frightened. Spotlight is from above and on him]

[SOLO: Blind Mustafa]
kumen tsu a shlus
this komediye
as I aroystretn
am I the komiker?

anu araynkumen
are you my shtatem?
how does it pasim
that we tsunoyfkumen...

My life is iberfirn zikh
like these kin and their
Melamed, whom I love,
der lererke, I love

[Children]
Hamo, Hamas, Hamat -- Hamas
Again children, i'·ber·khaz·er·n
Who is not a friend of Fatah?
Hamo, Hamas, Hamat -- Hamas

[UFO Loudspeaker over head]
tsunoyfkumen, kumen
time for your
meh·di·ka·ment'...
as for your Melamed
She is hot as peppermint

[Blind Mustafa]
How can you not hear it
how are you so deaf
are you as deaf
as I am blind?

Her skin soft as salt
her faith is a Temple of Gaza
her lips taste like baclava't
can she see me tremble?

[Blind Mustafa begins an ascent to the UFO above]

[Fugue Interlude ensues, with voices of children, Blind Mustafa, Meydlsh, and the two strangers who are arguing. Tank enters from backstage and stops to display a jumbo-tron of websites. The UFO departs after Blind Mustafa is lifted to it, Cirque Soleil style... Children are hurried off, but some boys stay behind and begin throwing bricks at the tank.]

PART SIX -- Fugues of War....